


Bend and Break

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: Episode: s05e04, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cochise goes back on a promise he made to Tom long ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bend and Break

**[A year ago]**

Cochise touches Tom’s face carefully.  He’s always so careful, Tom has noticed.  “Tom, I care deeply for you.  You have caused… irrevocable changes in me, and I believe these changes are for the better.”

Tom beams up at Cochise, kissing him quickly.  His heart beats hard at the admission, but in a pleasant, excited way.  “I’m glad.  I love you.” 

“I have an unusual proposition,” Cochise says, “but I hope that you are amendable to it.”

“Okay!” Tom says.  “Tell me.”

“When Volm liberate a planet, the usual course of action is to evacuate all personnel once operations are concluded.  However, I would like to stay on Earth in order to continue my relationship with you,” Cochise says.

“Are you serious?” Tom asks, elated.

“Is that offensive to you?” Cochise asks.

“It’s what I want,” Tom says, pulling him close.  “Cochise, I’ve been worried about you leaving for a long time now.  And I’ve wanted you to get closer to the boys, too, but if they come to look up to you, I don’t think they could handle you leaving.  But you’re going to stay!”

Cochise runs his fingers through his hair.  “I will not purposefully leave you or your offspring.  I assure you.”

Tom exhales, full of relief.  This thing between them is real.  This thing between them can outlast this war.

* * *

 

**[Present day]**

“Tom, we must discuss something of great importance,” Cochise whispers in his ear as he tries to fall asleep.  There’s a tremor in his voice.

Tom turns, looking at Cochise in the pale moonlight.  He doesn’t know if it’s the light or if he’s still sick, but Cochise is looking ashen grey again.  The thought that maybe Cochise is rejecting his kidney makes Tom’s thud painfully against his chest.  He can’t lose Cochise, not like this, especially not after Anne and Ben saved him.

“Are you okay?  Are you losing your kidney?” Tom asks. 

“My health is perfect, thanks to my father’s sacrifice,” Cochise says, “and that is why we must talk.”

“Okay,” Tom says.  “Let’s talk.”

“I have long sought a home.  I love you, our family, your planet,” Cochise says, sounding mournful about this fact. 

“That’s why you offered to stay here,” Tom says, confused.  “That’s why we agreed that we could be together seriously- because you wanted to stay here, even after the Volm left.  I want that.”

“I do want to stay here after the war is over, but I am not certain that I can now,” Cochise says.  “I believe I have to leave with the greater Volm fleet after you have regained your world.”

Tom’s breath catches in his throat.  “Why?”  Did Cochise only want to be with him when he knew he would be able to die and get out of it?

“The honorable course of action is to continue to fight, no matter how hard it becomes to continue.  I persuaded my father to upset the natural order of life with that argument,” Cochise says.  He clears his throat.  “Because of that, my father died and the Volm lost a great warrior.  I am a poor substitute, but I must behave with honor.  I cannot deprive the Volm of two warriors.”

“You can.  You have to,” Tom says, voice hollow. 

“I do not believe that I can,” Cochise says.  “Leaving you and your family will be the most difficult thing I have ever done, but I believe it must be done.”

“You are going to destroy Matt.  And Ben and Hal.  But especially Matt,” Tom says, voice shaking with anger.  “They love you so much, and I have let them get that close to you because I knew that you would stay.  Because you said you would stay.”

“Do not believe that I have come to this choice easily,” Cochise says.  “Do not believe that this is what I desire.  I love you so deeply, and I love our offspring as well.  But I have a duty to my people.”

“You have a duty to me!  And to our sons.  _Our_ sons, Cochise,” Tom says, glaring at him.  “Isn’t that important too?”

Cochise inhales deeply.  “You are so important.  So important that you are painful, a pain that I desire above all else.”

“Then stay,” Tom says.  “Stay, please.”

“I wish I could do that without dishonoring my people and my father’s sacrifice,” Cochise says.  “He did not die so I could be happy.  He died so I can fight.  I will leave and I will fight after this battle is concluded.”

Tom clenches his fists at his side and turns back around.  He’s not listening to this.  He can’t imagine winning the war and watching Cochise walk away.  It was okay in the early days of their relationship- it’s what he had expected.  But then Cochise had promised to stay with them even after the war. 

Cochise’s hand rests gently on his hip and it burns.  He can’t believe that Cochise has betrayed them like this. 

“I am sorry,” Cochise says hours later- Tom’s pretty sure that Cochise thinks he’s asleep. 

* * *

 

Tom wakes up with Cochise’s arms wrapped around him.

“What are you still doing here?” Tom asks dully.

“I love you, and I know you dislike sleeping alone.  I also dislike it when you sleep alone,” Cochise murmurs.  “You are vulnerable and I can protect you.”

“So, what?” Tom asks, staring at the wall.  “Am I supposed to pretend everything is okay?”

“This battle is not over.  I am not gone yet.  I do not wish to cease being with you until necessary,” Cochise says.  His hand skims over Tom’s stomach.  “There is still time.”

“We could have so much more time, Cochise.  We should have so much more time,” Tom says, “but you’re taking it away from us.”

Cochise is rubbing his stomach gently, soothingly.  “I wish I could stay.  I want to.  I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t say that,” Tom says, closing his eyes.  “Tell me you hate me.  Tell me you think I’m cruel and a terrible father and annoying and that you hate being with someone so frail and worthless.”

“Those are untrue statements,” Cochise says.

“But then, I can just be mad at you.  I don’t have to be brokenhearted.  I can just get mad.  All I want to be is mad at you,” Tom says.  “I want to hate you.”

“I do not wish for you to hate me,” Cochise says, “and I cannot hate you.”

“But you can leave me and hurt my kids,” Tom says, “which is, in a lot of ways, a lot worse.”

“I wish matters could be different, but they are not,” Cochise says.

“Is someone forcing you to do this?” Tom asks.

“No,” Cochise says.

Tom pulls himself out of bed and starts getting ready for the day.  “Don’t say anything to my kids.”

“I will not inform them of my decision,” Cochise says sadly.

“I mean in general.  Unless it’s absolutely necessary, don’t talk to my kids,” Tom says, slamming the door behind him on the way out.

* * *

 

“Volm Dad!” Matt yells as Cochise keeps watch.  He climbs up the barricade so he’s sitting next to him.  At first, Cochise hadn’t let him come up with him, but Matt had promised that he would run to safety if another round of skitters came.  He likes keeping Cochise company.  “Guess what?”

Cochise doesn’t reply, but Matt is used to that.  He’s a quiet kind of person, which is cool because it means that Matt can talk more.  But then Matt remembers what happened yesterday.  Maybe Cochise is sad, not just quiet.  Ben gets like that sometimes.

“Uh, never mind.  It’s not important,” Matt says.  He rests his head on Cochise’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry about your dad.  He was kind of a jerk, but he was still your dad.”

Matt sighs deeply.  “You’ve gotta try real hard to remember things about him.  Or else you’ll forget them.  And it, uh, really sucks when you forget stuff about your mo-I mean about your dad.”

He jumps up because he hates thinking about how much of Mom he’s forgotten.  “I’m sorry.  I’ve got to go somewhere… else.  See you later!”

* * *

 

Cochise hovers in the doorway as Tom gets ready for bed.  “Do you wish for me to stay somewhere else?”

Tom pulls him inside and closes the door.  “If you go somewhere else, everyone else will know something is wrong.”

Cochise crosses the room and wraps his arms around him, which makes Tom shudder.  He doesn’t want to have Cochise here, not like this.

“I do not want to spend what time we have left together apart from you, Tom,” Cochise says. 

“And I don’t want to know that our relationship has an expiration date,” Tom says, shrugging his way out of Cochise’s embrace.

“What would make this transition easier for you?” Cochise says.  He reaches forward and holds Tom’s hands.  “I do not want to hurt you.”

“Nothing will make this easy,” Tom says, sighing and pulling his hands away from Cochise. 

“You are strong, Tom, as are your boys.  You must believe in that,” Cochise says.

“Dammit, I don’t want them to have to be.  I don’t want to have to be, not about you,” Tom says.

“I do not wish for them to have to be either,” Cochise says quietly.  “I do not wish to force you to have to be strong either.”

“Have you changed your mind?” Tom asks. 

“I have not,” Cochise says.

“Then those are just words,” Tom says.  “Don’t cuddle with me tonight.”

He gets into bed alone, wraps the covers around himself.

“I will stay here and ensure your safety,” Cochise says quietly.  “I love you.”

Tom closes his eyes.  “I love you, too,” he whispers. 

* * *

 

They fall into a painful pattern.  It’s easy to pretend everything is okay in public because Tom still loves Cochise so much that it hurts.  His heart still leaps into his mouth every time Cochise gets tackled by a skitter, every time he almost gets shot. 

It doesn’t seem possible to tell his boys about Cochise leaving; they need to stay focused on what’s happening here and now.  So Tom doesn’t.  Thinking about After has never felt possible anyway. 

He tells Cochise that he can reply to the boys, but not initiate anything.  It doesn’t seem fair to deprive them of Cochise before absolutely necessary.

Everything is a balancing act now. 

It’s hard to have Cochise in his room and not be with him.  To not have Cochise in bed with him.  Learning to sleep alone again is hard.  Ever since he got his first college boyfriend, Tom has hated sleeping alone.

Tom’s brokenhearted, but he’s still with Cochise.  He’s still in love with Cochise.  But he can’t let Cochise hold him like he used to, can’t _really_ be with Cochise.  Not knowing that he’s going to leave as soon as this war is done.

* * *

 

“It’s too dangerous for someone to go alone,” Weaver argues.  “A team of ten, at _least_.  With the diversionary strike force to make sure they don’t see it coming.”

“Agreed,” Tom says.

“I can complete the task alone,” Cochise says.  “I will likely perish, but not before infiltrating the systems they use to create their new lifeforms.  This program will alter their DNA, programming them to attack each other while leaving creatures from this planet untouched.”

“Cochise-“ Tom starts.

“Tom,” Cochise interrupts, tilting his head.  He’s pleading with Tom.  “Allow me to do this.  By deploying this weapon, their own creations will become a weapon for you.  This is a decisive final strike.”

Tom finds himself nodding sadly.  “Okay.”

“Dad!  You can’t let him go alone!” Hal protests. 

“It is okay, Hal,” Cochise says.  “This is the best course of action for us all.”

“You’re going to die!” Ben protests.  “How is that any kind of best?”

“It is,” Cochise says.  “I can complete this task and give you your world back.”

“A larger force can do the same thing,” Hal argues.

“A larger force is more likely to be detected, and it is likely that many more people will die,” Cochise says.  “One death is better than many.”

“It’ll take a few days to get a diversionary strike force together, and then we go,” Tom says finally.

“Fine,” Hal says, storming out with Ben in tow.

Tom looks after them regretfully and then turns back to planning their final battle.

* * *

 

“Thank you for allowing me to complete the final mission on my own,” Cochise tells Tom quietly that night. 

“Come here,” Tom says, rubbing the space on the bed beside him.

Cochise crawls into bed and Tom curls around him, holding tightly.

“I am glad that I will not have to leave this world,” Cochise says. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass,” Tom says.  “I’m sorry I’ve been squandering what time we have left.”

“I understand that I hurt you and that I ignored my duties to you and your offspring for reasons that you cannot understand,” Cochise says. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Tom says. 

“This is how I can fulfill all my duties.  I will not leave this planet, and I will not dishonor my people.  I will die in the service of my people and yours, and in the process I will ensure your safety and the safety of your offspring, as well as being able to stay on Earth,” Cochise says, brushing his hand through Tom’s hair.  “To stay on Earth is what I want.  This is the best way to achieve that desire.”

Tom’s about to reply when there’s a pounding on the door.  “Dad!  Let us in!”  It’s Matt’s voice.

“Door’s open,” Tom says, sitting up as all three of his sons burst into the room.  “Are you guys okay?”

“No!  Cochise can’t die!” Matt says, crossing his arms.  “You have to tell him to stop.”

“You’d never send one of us to go die alone,” Ben says.  “Let me go watch his back.  I’m fast and strong and I can get both of us out of there.”

“You would also likely die,” Cochise says.  “That is unacceptable.  I can complete this task alone.”

“This is stupid,” Matt says. 

“We can figure out a better way to do this,” Hal says.  “We still have a few more days to figure out how to do this without sacrificing anyone.”

“Dad, tell Cochise no,” Matt says.  “You can tell him no.”

“I can’t,” Tom says.  “Cochise volunteered for this, and this will end the war.”

“I hate you!” Matt yells.

Neither Ben nor Hal say anything.  Tom can’t blame them.

“Matt!” Cochise scolds.  “Do not blame your father for this.  I wish to complete this mission.”

“Sorry,” Matt mumbles.  He crawls into bed, sandwiching himself between them. 

“It’s okay,” Tom says, kissing the top of his head.  “I know it’s hard.”

Ben and Hal crawl into bed too.  It’s a quiet and painful night.

* * *

 

Tom gives Cochise privacy to say goodbye to Hal, Ben, and Matt.  He doesn’t want to know what they say to each other, doesn’t want to see the pain on their faces.

And then it’s his turn. 

“Being on this planet and meeting you and your offspring has been the greatest experience of my life.  I am a poorer Volm, but a better being because of my time with you,” Cochise says.  He rests his hands on Tom’s face.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tom says, blinking away tears before they can fall.  “We couldn’t have done this without you.  And I don’t mean the Volm.  I mean you- Cochise.”

“I believe you could have.  Your human tenacity is a greater force than any I have encountered,” Cochise says.  “It has been an honor to learn from you and to love you.  I am glad that I will be able to remain here.”

“You don’t stop fighting, okay?” Tom whispers as he presses himself against Cochise’s chest.  He wants to feel Cochise one last time.  “Even after you rig their system, you fight like hell to get back here alive.  We need you to live, not just win.”

“Do not worry about me.  You must watch out for yourself and for your offspring who will enter battle beside you,” Cochise says.

“Promise me you’ll keep fighting,” Tom urges.

“I promise,” Cochise finally says.  “I will fight like a human, and continue on against all odds.”

“Good,” Tom says, closing his eyes as he presses his face into the crook of Cochise’s neck.  “Fight like a human.”

One last battle, and the war will basically be over.  They kiss goodbye.

* * *

 

After the battle is over, Tom, Hal, and Ben trudge back to camp in silence.  Hal is limping, leaning on Ben for support even though Ben got shot in the arm and is holding himself gingerly.  Tom had offered to help, but they both just glared at him, so Tom just wrapped his own head wound up and decided to watch them from a distance.

“Hal!  Ben!  Dad!” Matt yells, running up to them.  “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re gonna be fine, buddy,” Hal assures him.  “And we won.” 

“Where’s Cochise?” Matt asks, looking up at them.

“He hasn’t come back yet,” Hal says, and Tom remembers a time when Hal would have tried to soften the blow by pointing out there was still time.

“I’m going to go look for him, don’t worry,” Ben says, gesturing at Matt to come help Hal walk.  “I just need a sling, and my arm will be fine.”

“I can come with you,” Hal says as he wraps his arm around Matt, even if he clearly isn’t leaning on him at all.

“You can barely walk, Hal.  You’ll slow me down,” Ben says. 

“Ben, you can’t go out there alone,” Tom says, stepping forward.

Ben looks at him with a distrusting look that he’s never directed at Tom before, not even when he was torturing him.  “You sent Cochise out there alone.”

“Just wait, see if there’s someone else who can come with you,” Tom pleads.

“Anyone would slow me down, except Maggie, and she’s too hurt to come with me,” Ben says, backing away.  “I’m going and I’m going now because Cochise could be hurt and need help.”

“Be careful,” Hal says.  

“I will be, don’t worry,” Ben says before walking away. 

* * *

 

Tom makes sure Hal is taken care of in the infirmary and makes Matt promise to let him know if anything changes with Hal.  Then, he goes out to the barricade to watch and wait.

Hours later, he hears someone approaching camp.  “Ben?  Cochise?” Tom yells.

“Dad!  You have to come quickly,” Ben’s voice yells back.

Tom scrambles down the barricade quickly, which makes his head spin, but it doesn’t matter.  “What happened?”

“I found Cochise,” Ben says, staring at him in an empty kind of way.

“Where is he?” Tom asks, grabbing at Ben’s good arm.

“I need help bringing his body back.  We need to bury him properly,” Ben says.

Tom swallows hard and nods, following Ben wordlessly.

“Oh god…” Tom says when they finally reach Cochise’s body, only a mile away from camp.  Cochise had been so close to making it to safety.  He’s mangled almost beyond recognition, surrounded by skitter bodies.

“I tried to make him look presentable,” Ben says.  “I wasn’t even sure it was him at first, but he had that book you gave him in his pocket.  He loved that book.”

“He looked worse?” Tom asks.

“Yeah,” Ben says emotionlessly.

They carry him back, again in silence.  Once they stretch him out in their old bed, Ben leaves and Tom stares hopelessly at Cochise’s body alone.

He’s not alone for long, though.  Soon, all three of them are here, Hal using a crutch now.

“We were going to be a family,” Hal says quietly as Ben uses a damp towel to wipe the blood away from Cochise’s face.  Ben hasn’t even wiped the blood off of his own arm yet.

Matt pokes at Cochise’s arm.  “Wake up.”

“Matt…” Hal says, pulling him back.

“He could still wake up.  He could be fixing himself,” Matt says, fighting weakly against Hal’s grip.

“That’s not what’s happening, Matt,” Tom says softly. 

“Shut up!” Matt says.

“I should have been with him,” Ben says.  “I could have helped him.”

“He completed his mission,” Tom says softly.  “When he died, he was here on Earth and he knew that he had completed the mission that would make sure that we are safe.  That would end this war.  Your safety is what he wanted above everything else.”

“But what about his safety?” Hal asks.

“We weren’t there for him,” Ben adds.  “He died alone and we weren’t there for him.”

They’re both glaring at him.

“I’m sorry,” Tom says.  “I’m so sorry.”

* * *

 

Tom sits on the bed next to Cochise, stroking his face.  The boys have left- they have other people to check on, and they’re so mad at him that Tom’s worried Matt is going to hit him because of this one day.

“You did it,” Tom says quietly.  “You made sure we’re all safe, and you’re going to stay on Earth.”

He blinks hard to clear away the tears. 

“I love you so much.  This still doesn’t feel real.  It still feels like you’re going to wake up.” Tom moves slowly so he’s laying next to Cochise’s body.  “Please wake up.  Please.”

He feels so empty.  He’s laying next to the body of the person he loves, again, but now things are different.  There’s rebuilding to be done and there will still be some skitters out there, but it’s not war anymore. 

Now he has to think back over everything he’s done and live with it, including send his love to die, even if it’s what Cochise wanted.

Cochise had said once, “That is the most difficult thing about war.  It snatches up our loved ones.  It swallows them whole.  And we never have an opportunity to bid them farewell,” and the same thing is true about the terrible things that people have to do to get through a war alive.  Tom did so many things, but he never had the time to think about them.

But now Tom has the time.

Tom decides that he won’t tell anyone that Cochise had decided to leave them all.  Even if it makes them hate him. 

Cochise deserves all of their love.


End file.
